This function estimate how long is my "schlong".

def schlong_length(inches):
  if inches <= 1:
    return 'wow, you are so hung'
  elif inches <= 5:
    return 'are you even a man?'
  elif inches <= 9:
    return 'you are average'
  elif inches <= 12:
    return 'you are a big boy'
  else:
    return 'you are hung like a horse'

schlong_length(12)